So, there was a scene in the movie "Do You Believe" that really struck me.
//-Where was God when she died?
-He was with the bartender saying "Please don't serve another drink. He was with the driver saying 'please don't drink and drive.'"//
This really helped me answer the question: Why do bad things happen to good people?
Two main things are apparent in the above dialogue: community and the fall.
We are responsible in holding one another accountable to our faith in scripture. Because of the fall, we are prone to sin, (but Christ has forgiven us of these sins). Our sins affect one another (our community). This is why we must remind one another of the scripture so that when we follow God's law, Good Things will happen (not bad) to others and not bad.
This is why we spread the Good News. When we spread the Good News, more and more good can spread. But we are still prone to sin. Because of "the fall" when Eve ate the apple. This is why we live according to God's will, then good things will follow. But when we do not, we see the results of our wrongdoing.
The bartender and drunk driver are in community with the daughter because God loves us all. Their actions affected her. God attempted to leave his fingerprint upon them, but their sin nature (a result of the fall) resisted his ways and caused one of God's beloved children to die. Though she may have been ready to meet her God in Heaven, this may be an example of how God has plans for us (Jeremiah 29:11), but we as a community and as individuals deviate and interfere with them. Sometimes, we simply choose to do wrong when we know what's right. Knowing this and what's worse, we infringe upon others' God annointed plans (the daughter's plans are now off course) due to our sin nature without even realizing.
People always say that God has a way of turning bad things into good things. I think that's because those bad things aren't really God. It's man making their own agenda. Or the devil. (sin, the fall) And God showing his grace and mercy in our circumstances to provide us with good and right our wrongs and remind us of how we are completely forgiven and loved.
So, why do bad things happen to good people? Because we as a community (a true, entire community) are still broken and influenced by the fall. We have done this to our selves. It's not fun to think about, but it is the truth. We need to reach our community through the belief or our Christ and his cross.
Do you believe?
Friday, March 20, 2015
Wednesday, February 18, 2015
I Want.
I want...
to laugh uncontrollably.
I want a belly aching laugh.
I want clear, direct, honest, and open communication.
I want him to know what I want and to know what he wants.
I want to be silly with him and to be my goofy, ridiculous self.
I want to be best friends.
I want to play together.
I want to talk about serious stuff.
I want to talk about regular stuff.
I want him to kill bugs and to cook. (But those aren't deal breakers).
I want him to want me as much as I want him.
I want him to love God more than he loves me. I want to pour over the Bible together and to be in community for Christ with one another.
I want to encourage and support one another in all of our endeavors.
I want to exercise with each other.
I want to go to the park together.
I want to explore and try new things together.
I want to go for walks. I want to go for runs.
I want to compromise with him.
I want to feel it in my gut.
I want to love him.
I want to love him, flaws and all.
I want crazy, stupid, love.
I want to keep on learning how to love him.
This is just the beginning of what I need.
1 John 4:19. We love because He first loved us.
to laugh uncontrollably.
I want a belly aching laugh.
I want clear, direct, honest, and open communication.
I want him to know what I want and to know what he wants.
I want to be silly with him and to be my goofy, ridiculous self.
I want to be best friends.
I want to play together.
I want to talk about serious stuff.
I want to talk about regular stuff.
I want him to kill bugs and to cook. (But those aren't deal breakers).
I want him to want me as much as I want him.
I want him to love God more than he loves me. I want to pour over the Bible together and to be in community for Christ with one another.
I want to encourage and support one another in all of our endeavors.
I want to exercise with each other.
I want to go to the park together.
I want to explore and try new things together.
I want to go for walks. I want to go for runs.
I want to compromise with him.
I want to feel it in my gut.
I want to love him.
I want to love him, flaws and all.
I want crazy, stupid, love.
I want to keep on learning how to love him.
This is just the beginning of what I need.
1 John 4:19. We love because He first loved us.
Sunday, January 25, 2015
Salvation.
Today, I went to church with Beaver.
It was great. It was so ironic first of all because he was preaching on the same scripture that Derrick's church had preached on when I went a few weeks ago, Luke 16. It's a parable about the Rich Man and the beggar, Lazarus. The Rich Man goes to Hades and the Beggar goes to Heaven. So, the pastor talks a lot about what happens after we die and what it means to have eternal life and how we don't want to be like the Rich Man. So, it really got me thinking. I felt good because I really got the message of the scripture the second time around. I think I was really hung up on all the terminology of Heaven and Hell and Hades and Sheol (sp?) and missed the central message: eternal life. What it is and how to get it. I'm still navigating the meaning of Heaven and Hell and want to learn more about it, but I think right now it's important that I understand the importance of eternal life.
The beggar, Lazarus achieved his eternal life and salvation by having faith and Christ, whereas the Rich Man did not. By the time the Rich Man was in Hades, it was too late. I don't want it to be too late for tomorrow is not promised, for anyone. What we do now in the present, during our Earthly life, will determine where we end up after we die and if we will be with Our Father. I want to be with my friends and my God in Heaven.
That being said, I guess one could say I rededicated my life to Christ today. January 25, 2015. The pastor said, if you are 99% sure that you are going to Heaven, you are 100% lost and well, I felt uncertain and I just felt this pull to go up. It felt right. I felt this nudge from God and I did it. I prayed with Annie Hinton after reading Romans 10:9 and filled out some information. It felt good.
To be honest, I don't feel different. I feel good. I have always accepted Christ as my Savior, but have always felt something missing. I think today I worked toward what some of what that would be--a personal declaration. I feel a greater sense of purpose in my life after today. To live for today to have a Heavenly eternal life with The Father. Knowing and declaring this now makes me want to strive to be a better person.
But, I know I will sin. I know it will be hard and so I must build a community of supporters. I want to begin by really growing within a church. I was talking with Beaver about this and I really must reevaluate my involvement with the Deaf ministry as to how it impacts my own spiritual growth. I have been to a variety of churches in Raleigh. I think both my gift and curse is that I can fit in anywhere, but I need to make it a goal for myself to grow and prosper where I am planted.
Right now, I believe that may be RCCC. I think I can begin by seeking out (again) some of the Young Adult classes and as Brittany mentioned, some of the Women's classes. I can still balance this with interpreting and when I know I will not be interpreting can use that time to invest in other small groups or classes. I also think I need to change my mindset and attitude toward the Deaf ministry from one of service to one of BOTH service and learning. There is room to grow and learn with them, but I am not yet taking advantage of this.
I think what it comes down to is I need to loosen up my standards a bit on the church. I have expectations on what I look for in a church, yes. And I should. But if I really want to grow in the word I have to be willing to grow and learn from those that are around me even though it may not be whom I initially intended. God has a plan and I need to let him execute it instead of making my own plan work out. And maybe that's why my plan isn't working out--it's not meant to be, but God's is!
These are all things I can be looking to do. I will look into RCCC now! I'm excited for all the possibilities and for a fresh, new perspective after my reaffirming my declaration for needing Christ Jesus in my heart!
Amen!
It was great. It was so ironic first of all because he was preaching on the same scripture that Derrick's church had preached on when I went a few weeks ago, Luke 16. It's a parable about the Rich Man and the beggar, Lazarus. The Rich Man goes to Hades and the Beggar goes to Heaven. So, the pastor talks a lot about what happens after we die and what it means to have eternal life and how we don't want to be like the Rich Man. So, it really got me thinking. I felt good because I really got the message of the scripture the second time around. I think I was really hung up on all the terminology of Heaven and Hell and Hades and Sheol (sp?) and missed the central message: eternal life. What it is and how to get it. I'm still navigating the meaning of Heaven and Hell and want to learn more about it, but I think right now it's important that I understand the importance of eternal life.
The beggar, Lazarus achieved his eternal life and salvation by having faith and Christ, whereas the Rich Man did not. By the time the Rich Man was in Hades, it was too late. I don't want it to be too late for tomorrow is not promised, for anyone. What we do now in the present, during our Earthly life, will determine where we end up after we die and if we will be with Our Father. I want to be with my friends and my God in Heaven.
That being said, I guess one could say I rededicated my life to Christ today. January 25, 2015. The pastor said, if you are 99% sure that you are going to Heaven, you are 100% lost and well, I felt uncertain and I just felt this pull to go up. It felt right. I felt this nudge from God and I did it. I prayed with Annie Hinton after reading Romans 10:9 and filled out some information. It felt good.
To be honest, I don't feel different. I feel good. I have always accepted Christ as my Savior, but have always felt something missing. I think today I worked toward what some of what that would be--a personal declaration. I feel a greater sense of purpose in my life after today. To live for today to have a Heavenly eternal life with The Father. Knowing and declaring this now makes me want to strive to be a better person.
But, I know I will sin. I know it will be hard and so I must build a community of supporters. I want to begin by really growing within a church. I was talking with Beaver about this and I really must reevaluate my involvement with the Deaf ministry as to how it impacts my own spiritual growth. I have been to a variety of churches in Raleigh. I think both my gift and curse is that I can fit in anywhere, but I need to make it a goal for myself to grow and prosper where I am planted.
Right now, I believe that may be RCCC. I think I can begin by seeking out (again) some of the Young Adult classes and as Brittany mentioned, some of the Women's classes. I can still balance this with interpreting and when I know I will not be interpreting can use that time to invest in other small groups or classes. I also think I need to change my mindset and attitude toward the Deaf ministry from one of service to one of BOTH service and learning. There is room to grow and learn with them, but I am not yet taking advantage of this.
I think what it comes down to is I need to loosen up my standards a bit on the church. I have expectations on what I look for in a church, yes. And I should. But if I really want to grow in the word I have to be willing to grow and learn from those that are around me even though it may not be whom I initially intended. God has a plan and I need to let him execute it instead of making my own plan work out. And maybe that's why my plan isn't working out--it's not meant to be, but God's is!
These are all things I can be looking to do. I will look into RCCC now! I'm excited for all the possibilities and for a fresh, new perspective after my reaffirming my declaration for needing Christ Jesus in my heart!
Amen!
Friday, January 16, 2015
Community.
Tonight's thought:
Community. I was just on ThoughtCatalog and one of the articles focused on why the writer did not miss church and the one reason they did. That one reason was community. So, I decided to unpack that word. I've always struggled with community and I'm not sure why. Maybe it's my introverted nature?
Dictionary.com defines community as:
a social, religious, occupational, or other group sharing common characteristics or interests and perceived or perceiving itself as distinct in some respect from the larger society within which it exists
What do I define community as?
-People with whom I share common interests
-People with whom I am comfortable
-People who I have a natural inclination to spend time with in outside environments and not in primarily structured settings
-Natural, authentic, undefined relationships
The two definitions overlap. I am finding that the one contrast is that my definition is that I thrive off of relationships which are organic, innate. So many communities in which I find myself must be defined and then be organically made. I work from the inside out. Whereas so many other types of relationships work from the outside in. Hm, interesting.
But, I guess a community is still a community, regardless, right? Working from the inside out as opposed to the outside in, I still had to put in a great length of time and effort in the relationships I have built and who is to say that they are any better or more significant than relationships that are built from the outside in? Perhaps working from the outside in, I have to do the same, but it feels like more than what I am used to because I am working from a different angle. Maybe I should give the outside in, defined relationships more of a chance?
After all, there's no right way. Just different ways.
So, then the next question is, why am I so scared of the outside in approach?
Am I scared?
Am I impatient?
Do I not like to change my way of doing things?
Am I stubborn?
Do I not want to admit that I am wrong? (Is it time to admit that I am wrong?)
Have I genuinely just not found a defined community approach that fits my undefined sense of relationship and community?
If I have, what is keeping me from flourishing in these define community approach contexts? How can I change this?
Community is more puzzling for the Christian individual to figure out than one would think. I will take it one day at a time. I do feel comfort in knowing that I can at least be aware and open to both the defined and undefined types of community I engage in on a daily basis.
Community. I was just on ThoughtCatalog and one of the articles focused on why the writer did not miss church and the one reason they did. That one reason was community. So, I decided to unpack that word. I've always struggled with community and I'm not sure why. Maybe it's my introverted nature?
Dictionary.com defines community as:
a social, religious, occupational, or other group sharing common characteristics or interests and perceived or perceiving itself as distinct in some respect from the larger society within which it exists
What do I define community as?
-People with whom I share common interests
-People with whom I am comfortable
-People who I have a natural inclination to spend time with in outside environments and not in primarily structured settings
-Natural, authentic, undefined relationships
The two definitions overlap. I am finding that the one contrast is that my definition is that I thrive off of relationships which are organic, innate. So many communities in which I find myself must be defined and then be organically made. I work from the inside out. Whereas so many other types of relationships work from the outside in. Hm, interesting.
But, I guess a community is still a community, regardless, right? Working from the inside out as opposed to the outside in, I still had to put in a great length of time and effort in the relationships I have built and who is to say that they are any better or more significant than relationships that are built from the outside in? Perhaps working from the outside in, I have to do the same, but it feels like more than what I am used to because I am working from a different angle. Maybe I should give the outside in, defined relationships more of a chance?
After all, there's no right way. Just different ways.
So, then the next question is, why am I so scared of the outside in approach?
Am I scared?
Am I impatient?
Do I not like to change my way of doing things?
Am I stubborn?
Do I not want to admit that I am wrong? (Is it time to admit that I am wrong?)
Have I genuinely just not found a defined community approach that fits my undefined sense of relationship and community?
If I have, what is keeping me from flourishing in these define community approach contexts? How can I change this?
Community is more puzzling for the Christian individual to figure out than one would think. I will take it one day at a time. I do feel comfort in knowing that I can at least be aware and open to both the defined and undefined types of community I engage in on a daily basis.
Tuesday, December 2, 2014
One A Days-December
12.1.14
"Most Loyal" pizza at Trophys with Ryan was amazing!! 5 slices! "Organized relations"-Derrick
12.2.14
9 ladies dancing idea is on point.
12.3.14
J asked for Deck the Halls. Feeling a little bit better.
12.4.14
Derrick said he like my hair. :) J calling me out on my bad boy fettish. "I met john...loves his mom..etc...but there's just no edge to him." Chatting with beaver: "You are batty beaver!" "I'm sure he knows that" (about my hair). haha.
12.4.14
Derrick said he like my hair. :) J calling me out on my bad boy fettish. "I met john...loves his mom..etc...but there's just no edge to him." Chatting with beaver: "You are batty beaver!" "I'm sure he knows that" (about my hair). haha.
12.5.14
Ladies Christmas Tea was so fun! Met Julie and got to "smack" the chairs with Aimee. Hah. Virginia asked for my number if she needed an interpreter.
12.6.14
Derricks quote book. Holiday concert with David. We won the 12 days of Christmas costume contest!
12.7.14
Interpreted service and crushed it! Derrick--"I'm on your mind. #youreintome
12.8.14
"I thought about you like three times today..." J gave me a pencil. Submitted last assignment of grad school! "My favorite part of my day is taking off my bra." Haha
12.9.14
Noodles & company. Corries concert. Open Eye cafe with Foskey.
12.10.13
"I'm sorry I didn't kiss you." 100 on 546 project!
12.11.14
"I was planning on staying anyway." Laughing with Beaver about my weave coming out. Haha.
12.12.14
Christmas program was great! Melissa, Corrie, Derrick, Ally, Sabrina, and Danielle came! Boy-girl party!
12.13.14
Christmas concert night 2 went great! The family came.
12.14.14
Performance at Melissa's church. Hallelujah christmas. Saw beaver at her Christmas concert! #righttho #headflup
12.15.14
Foskeys concert and Starbucks with Evan, Sarah, and Mel. "That's how hashtags work..." "You were so quiet tonight"
12.16.14
Danielle's story about Jimmy and how she wasn't interested. Melissa coming to work with me and dinner with Donna. Plans this weekend!
12.17.18
Dpi visit wasn't so bad. Dinner and sex talk with Martha.
12.18.14
Graduation!! Saw Ms Latta!
12.19.14
Outback with Foskey and About a Boy. Talked about sexual experiences.
12.20.14
Oil change with Foskey. Gave me a car charger. Lunch with Allie at the tea room and deaf/hh small group christmas party.
D said I was "refreshing."
12.21.14
Lunch with Beaver and Blaine! Dinnet at Leo's house!
12.22.14
Gone Girl with Dad. Successful Christmas shopping.
12.23.14
Equalizer with Matt. "Dash dash equalizing time!" Haha. Dinner with old friends at Bento Box. Yum!
J: maam it takes 2 seconds to type southern pines! Haha!
12.24.14
Breakfast at ihop with Foskey! "I wouldn't want some guy to snatch you up" "I like your neck and...the best." Shopping with mom and dad!
12.25.14
Christmas! Got a new bed set. Family time and hanging at Tricia's house.
12.26.14
I like being your tramp...
12.27.14
At Barnes and Nobles with D. Party with Brittany and Blake for their friend Jessi. Turnt up! Food was so good. And dancing! Brittany peed!
12.28.14
"I have a great girl that's kind of into me..." Top Five with mom and dad. Two pairs of boots.
12.29.14
Third pair of shoes. Sounded better on the piano.
12.30.14
Family portrait. Bowling and over the falls with Foskey. Really great talk about expectations. My car got egged. :(
12.31.14
NYE at Corrie and Melissa's apt!! So fun! Guessing which card was Corrie's in apples to apples.
Saturday, November 1, 2014
One A Days--November
11.1.14
Pumpkin chocolate chip pancakes with Corrie. Lunch with Sammy. "Well, that escalated quickly!" Dear White People
with Jalisa.
11.2.14
Practicing with Vanessa and lunch at Hometown Cafe. Yum! Cracking up about voicing for T.
11.4.14
Watching ASL videos with Vanessa while practicing. The story of Sleepy Hollow! Aaron L: "you should stay; its more fun when you're here."
11.4.14
Dinner at Tasu with Caroline! So good to see her! J: say why not/what for. Lol.
11.5.14
Voiced for Theresa during visitation about not being judged perfectly! Yayyy! Got my cap and gown and my car back! Yay!
11.6.14
Had chick fil a for dinner thanks to PTA!
11.7.14
Talking about boys with Katie and watching Matilda!
11.8.14
Celebrating Martha's 25th! Good day with DC. Sopapillas are delicious.
11.9.14
RHOA premiere and 90 day fiance with beaver!!
11.10.14
J "crying" because Miss Agnes left the school.
11.11.14
No school today!! I downloaded glide!!
11.12.14
Finished research paper rough draft. No J, but sad news--his grandma passed away. Pumpkin cinnamon scones from Martha's mom!
11.13.14
Another "free" day today. Dropped some sweets off to J and his mom. "I wonder what the new teacher will say when she sees them climbing through the window."
11.14.14
Ms Stewart, I just love your hair. You're silly. -Anna
11.15.14
Got my kinky twists. Saw the maze runner with mom!
11.16.14
"To be heard in relationships I've had to be kind of a bitch." -Beaver
11.17.14
Everyone loved my hair!
11.18.14
Our thankful tree with J. Stephanie got glasses!
11.19.14
It's official. I'm getting a new student. A ninth grade girl! "The world just won't let me flourish."-J
11.20.14
Dr J said this new AU deaf student would knock me over! Stephanie let me take Natalie White home. Lol.
11.21.14
Derrick texted me an apology...
And free caramel frappe!
11.22.14
Rum Runners with Aimee and Tracey and dancing was so much fun! Up on stage for rolling on the river. Drunk girl invited us to Coglins. Dinner with the Collman family and bagels!
11.23.14
The Three Musketeers sign language play. Saw Erica and Shannon and Christie. Signed "End of the Beginning."
11.24.14
Met my new student--love her!!
11.25.14
Casey came by today!
11.26.24
Hung out with Martha and Jalisa and helped make a flower task. Went and got lunch at Howes Your Pizza. Selfies together and Beyoncé's music videos! Texting all day with Derrick!
11.27.14
Thanksgiving!! Laughing with my cousins. K&W stands for kanes and wheels. Bari crying because Jr. had the phone.
11.28.14
New Bern High football game! Yay! Go TJ! #62 Ethel and my new song: c'mon c'mon! Lol. Spending some time with my sister and Renny. Her cousin Zariah speaking Arabic. Lol.
11.29.14
"You ain't nothing but a uterus!" -J talking about baby announcements. Haha. Chris and Shayla came to visit.
11.30.14
"I got a hard one."-Derrick (talking about 12 days of Christmas
"It wouldn't have been fun to watch it without you."-Beaver (talking about RHOA)
Wednesday, October 1, 2014
One A Days--October
J was absent and Mrs Bell and I got a lot of planning done today!
10.2.14
Bathroom duty at fall fest! And J got an 80 on his AR test. Phone date with Jess: "walking oxymoron."
10.3.14
I was "Miss Congeniality" at the TOD regional meeting since Pitt and Wake were throwing me job offers! What, what!
10.4.14
Cracking up at Kevin Hart. Also Derrick and I had a great text convo about our "dating" in college and quasi reconciled.
10.5.14
Went walking with Margie and talked about life, love, and next year. Interpreted at church. Lunch with Vanessa. Texting with Derrick and sending funny gifs.
10.6.14
Got a Kit Kat for perfect attendance! Sent Ricky his birthday gift!
10.7.14
J was copying my words and I accidentally poked him in the face which gave us all a chuckle. Played in the park with Martha. Joked about how we would do a race and list our health problems on the back of our shirt. Lol. Mar said my face looked clear!
10.7.14
J was copying my words and I accidentally poked him in the face which gave us all a chuckle. Played in the park with Martha. Joked about how we would do a race and list our health problems on the back of our shirt. Lol. Mar said my face looked clear!
10.8.14
Sweet hugs from LW and JJ is doing much better memory wise.
10.9.14
Did all my chores. And heard from J today. "Brennan told me to tell you hi." "We should do this (science experiments) with you!"
10.10.14
Home sweet home. Crawling through the tunnel and pretend playing in Ms E's class!
10.11.14
Lindsay's wedding with Jessica, Leo, and Liz. The hood Burger King. White flats. Lots of laughs!
10.12.14
Texting with Foskey! Lazy Sunday.
10.13.14
Foskey's orchestra concert and So Pie pizza.
10.14.14
J got embarrassed by the word "butt cheeks." Texting with Foskey.
10.15.14
Met Debra Pierce who said she would put in a good word for me at Lacy Elem.
10.16.14
Early Release Day! Told J my secret and she put down some wisdom. Met a teacher for the deaf at Walnut Creek, Thomas Faulkner. And Randall.
10.17.14
Got to see my god family! Caught up with Taliah. Enjoyed seeing the deaf program at Creekside.
10.18.14
Camp Woodbine was great! We had an awesome group! Megan, Johnathan, Darius, Reni, Nick, Kylie, and Kevin. Maggie was a great co counselor and Grace was awesome. "I was gonna take a yallie."
10.19.14
Your inner beauty shines through even when your epidermis is acting up. -Martha
10.20.14
Went to a mosque and didn't go to work. Lol. Erica says my face isn't that bad. Lol. Sarah and Joseph's "Ew" video. Lol.
10.21.14
SW's imaginary, miniature sized friend named Natalie White. Lol. Adorable. Foskey is coming to the fair with us!
10.22.24
Extra beef dippers for lunch!
10.23.14
State Fair with the kids! One of the first graders, Hailey, has sisters named Emily Osment and Selena Gomez and a brother named Justin Bieber. Umm!
10.24.14
Vollmer Farms with E's class! And dinner at Las Magaritas with Nikki. "You gotta booger. "
10.25.14
Fair with Melissa and Corrie. Got a turkey leg, fried Oreos, fried banana foster, and apple cider. Girl in line: can you get a college discount on a turkey leg??
10.26.14
Had 3 hot dogs at Harvest Festival. Got 100 on our SpicyNodes project.
10.27.14
Got another observation over and done with! Talked with Prefix and Beaver.
10.28.14
My traffic citation got a voluntary dismissal. No points on my license! Woohoo! Stephanie and "Natalie" we're adorable!
10.29.14
J was absent. No corrections on his folder! Yeah!
10.30.14
Helping Josh & Ethan with their math homework. And "if you have to be old might as well be Sophia."-J
10.31.14
Harry Potter and dinner and cupcakes with Melissa and Corrie! Yum!
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