Salvation.

Today, I went to church with Beaver.

It was great.  It was so ironic first of all because he was preaching on the same scripture that Derrick's church had preached on when I went a few weeks ago, Luke 16.  It's a parable about the Rich Man and the beggar, Lazarus.  The Rich Man goes to Hades and the Beggar goes to Heaven.  So, the pastor talks a lot about what happens after we die and what it means to have eternal life and how we don't want to be like the Rich Man.  So, it really got me thinking.  I felt good because I really got the message of the scripture the second time around.  I think I was really hung up on all the terminology of Heaven and Hell and Hades and Sheol (sp?) and missed the central message: eternal life.  What it is and how to get it.  I'm still navigating the meaning of Heaven and Hell and want to learn more about it, but I think right now it's important that I understand the importance of eternal life.

The beggar, Lazarus achieved his eternal life and salvation by having faith and Christ, whereas the Rich Man did not.  By the time the Rich Man was in Hades, it was too late.  I don't want it to be too late for tomorrow is not promised, for anyone.  What we do now in the present, during our Earthly life, will determine where we end up after we die and if we will be with Our Father.  I want to be with my friends and my God in Heaven.

That being said, I guess one could say I rededicated my life to Christ today.  January 25, 2015.  The pastor said, if you are 99% sure that you are going to Heaven, you are 100% lost and well, I felt uncertain and I just felt this pull to go up.  It felt right.  I felt this nudge from God and I did it.  I prayed with Annie Hinton after reading Romans 10:9 and filled out some information.  It felt good.

To be honest, I don't feel different.  I feel good.  I have always accepted Christ as my Savior, but have always felt something missing.  I think today I worked toward what some of what that would be--a personal declaration.  I feel a greater sense of purpose in my life after today.  To live for today to have a Heavenly eternal life with The Father.  Knowing and declaring this now makes me want to strive to be a better person.

But, I know I will sin.  I know it will be hard and so I must build a community of supporters.  I want to begin by really growing within a church.  I was talking with Beaver about this and I really must reevaluate my involvement with the Deaf ministry as to how it impacts my own spiritual growth.  I have been to a variety of churches in Raleigh.  I think both my gift and curse is that I can fit in anywhere, but I need to make it a goal for myself to grow and prosper where I am planted.

Right now, I believe that may be RCCC.  I think I can begin by seeking out (again) some of the Young Adult classes and as Brittany mentioned, some of the Women's classes.  I can still balance this with interpreting and when I know I will not be interpreting can use that time to invest in other small groups or classes.  I also think I need to change my mindset and attitude toward the Deaf ministry from one of service to one of BOTH service and learning.  There is room to grow and learn with them, but I am not yet taking advantage of this.

I think what it comes down to is I need to loosen up my standards a bit on the church.  I have expectations on what I look for in a church, yes.  And I should.  But if I really want to grow in the word I have to be willing to grow and learn from those that are around me even though it may not be whom I initially intended.  God has a plan and I need to let him execute it instead of making my own plan work out.  And maybe that's why my plan isn't working out--it's not meant to be, but God's is!

These are all things I can be looking to do.  I will look into RCCC now!  I'm excited for all the possibilities and for a fresh, new perspective after my reaffirming my declaration for needing Christ Jesus in my heart!

Amen!