Passion.

Passion has always been such a vague concept to me.  How do you really know you have passion for something?  Sure, I love people, things, places, activities, and the like.  But passion? Having that fiery burning feeling about something that excites me has always been hard for me.  I'm an extremely laid-back person and when I get excited about something it's spontaneous and unexpected.  It's few and far between so when it happens I've come to find--in my case--it's genuine.

Recently I think I am redefining and relearning what it means to be passionate.  That excited, consistent feeling you have about something.  Your mind always thinking, calculating, processing your next move.  Your heart trying to decipher the good decisions from the better ones.  It's a non-stop process, it seems...to be passionate.

I've been teaching for a few months now and most recently I think I have rediscovered the passion in my profession.  I've always enjoyed what I've been doing in working with my students.  I've always liked it.  But as I've told several of my closest friend, it's as if something has been missing.  I haven't loved it.  And I know I am extremely blessed to have a job with the awesome support I'm being given and I am appreciative of this fact, yet it is how I feel and I am glad to be discovering more of what I want in this life for myself and to give back to my community.

All this "passion" talk hasn't come out of the blue.  As of lately, I am on cloud nine being that I've added a signing student to my caseload.  As I described him to one of my fellow colleagues, "He is so Deaf!"  It feels good to have a big D Deaf student and be able to communicate with him instantaneously through the air.  Words really can't express.  Ever since I met this kid last Thurs, my mind has been racing.  I've been thinking of ways to captivate him, ways to motivate him, ways to connect him with the Deaf community in Raleigh, etc.  He's such a neat kid...I'm so excited to have this opportunity to work with him and add something special to his day.  

I've only worked with him for two days, but it's made me think a lot about how I see myself as a professional and how I really would like to work with a self-contained/resource class of deaf/hard of hearing students.  It's motivating me to think a little bigger in hopes that maybe our school system could be one that can support not only oral students, but signing students too.  It feels so good to be signing again.  I love all of my students regardless of hearing, hard of hearing, or deaf.  But there's something in me...that passion I've been feeling lately, that just feels fulfilled.  I was in the Taco Bell drive-thru yesterday evening and as I was waiting for my chicken soft tacos it was like I had an ah-ha moment.  It just hit me.  This is what I'm supposed to be working toward.....serving the deaf community in whichever way possible.  It's what gets my heart beating and my mind racing.  

I was thinking about how I see passion in my friends in the fields they have chosen.  Is this how the music teacher feels when her kids play instruments?  Is this how the doctor feels when his patient his healed?  Is this how the translator feels when the individual receives the message in their native language?

I know not everyone is living out their passion.  We're all discovering what it is one day at a time and figuring out how to live it to the best of our ability.  But it's such a good feeling to know that I am discovering what excites me and it is possible to live out my passion as opportunities present themselves and as I take advantage of them.  

This excited feeling feels so good.

"Don't ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive and then go do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive."     --Howard Thurman