Today, I went to church with Beaver.
It was great. It was so ironic first of all because he was preaching on the same scripture that Derrick's church had preached on when I went a few weeks ago, Luke 16. It's a parable about the Rich Man and the beggar, Lazarus. The Rich Man goes to Hades and the Beggar goes to Heaven. So, the pastor talks a lot about what happens after we die and what it means to have eternal life and how we don't want to be like the Rich Man. So, it really got me thinking. I felt good because I really got the message of the scripture the second time around. I think I was really hung up on all the terminology of Heaven and Hell and Hades and Sheol (sp?) and missed the central message: eternal life. What it is and how to get it. I'm still navigating the meaning of Heaven and Hell and want to learn more about it, but I think right now it's important that I understand the importance of eternal life.
The beggar, Lazarus achieved his eternal life and salvation by having faith and Christ, whereas the Rich Man did not. By the time the Rich Man was in Hades, it was too late. I don't want it to be too late for tomorrow is not promised, for anyone. What we do now in the present, during our Earthly life, will determine where we end up after we die and if we will be with Our Father. I want to be with my friends and my God in Heaven.
That being said, I guess one could say I rededicated my life to Christ today. January 25, 2015. The pastor said, if you are 99% sure that you are going to Heaven, you are 100% lost and well, I felt uncertain and I just felt this pull to go up. It felt right. I felt this nudge from God and I did it. I prayed with Annie Hinton after reading Romans 10:9 and filled out some information. It felt good.
To be honest, I don't feel different. I feel good. I have always accepted Christ as my Savior, but have always felt something missing. I think today I worked toward what some of what that would be--a personal declaration. I feel a greater sense of purpose in my life after today. To live for today to have a Heavenly eternal life with The Father. Knowing and declaring this now makes me want to strive to be a better person.
But, I know I will sin. I know it will be hard and so I must build a community of supporters. I want to begin by really growing within a church. I was talking with Beaver about this and I really must reevaluate my involvement with the Deaf ministry as to how it impacts my own spiritual growth. I have been to a variety of churches in Raleigh. I think both my gift and curse is that I can fit in anywhere, but I need to make it a goal for myself to grow and prosper where I am planted.
Right now, I believe that may be RCCC. I think I can begin by seeking out (again) some of the Young Adult classes and as Brittany mentioned, some of the Women's classes. I can still balance this with interpreting and when I know I will not be interpreting can use that time to invest in other small groups or classes. I also think I need to change my mindset and attitude toward the Deaf ministry from one of service to one of BOTH service and learning. There is room to grow and learn with them, but I am not yet taking advantage of this.
I think what it comes down to is I need to loosen up my standards a bit on the church. I have expectations on what I look for in a church, yes. And I should. But if I really want to grow in the word I have to be willing to grow and learn from those that are around me even though it may not be whom I initially intended. God has a plan and I need to let him execute it instead of making my own plan work out. And maybe that's why my plan isn't working out--it's not meant to be, but God's is!
These are all things I can be looking to do. I will look into RCCC now! I'm excited for all the possibilities and for a fresh, new perspective after my reaffirming my declaration for needing Christ Jesus in my heart!
Amen!
Sunday, January 25, 2015
Friday, January 16, 2015
Community.
Tonight's thought:
Community. I was just on ThoughtCatalog and one of the articles focused on why the writer did not miss church and the one reason they did. That one reason was community. So, I decided to unpack that word. I've always struggled with community and I'm not sure why. Maybe it's my introverted nature?
Dictionary.com defines community as:
a social, religious, occupational, or other group sharing common characteristics or interests and perceived or perceiving itself as distinct in some respect from the larger society within which it exists
What do I define community as?
-People with whom I share common interests
-People with whom I am comfortable
-People who I have a natural inclination to spend time with in outside environments and not in primarily structured settings
-Natural, authentic, undefined relationships
The two definitions overlap. I am finding that the one contrast is that my definition is that I thrive off of relationships which are organic, innate. So many communities in which I find myself must be defined and then be organically made. I work from the inside out. Whereas so many other types of relationships work from the outside in. Hm, interesting.
But, I guess a community is still a community, regardless, right? Working from the inside out as opposed to the outside in, I still had to put in a great length of time and effort in the relationships I have built and who is to say that they are any better or more significant than relationships that are built from the outside in? Perhaps working from the outside in, I have to do the same, but it feels like more than what I am used to because I am working from a different angle. Maybe I should give the outside in, defined relationships more of a chance?
After all, there's no right way. Just different ways.
So, then the next question is, why am I so scared of the outside in approach?
Am I scared?
Am I impatient?
Do I not like to change my way of doing things?
Am I stubborn?
Do I not want to admit that I am wrong? (Is it time to admit that I am wrong?)
Have I genuinely just not found a defined community approach that fits my undefined sense of relationship and community?
If I have, what is keeping me from flourishing in these define community approach contexts? How can I change this?
Community is more puzzling for the Christian individual to figure out than one would think. I will take it one day at a time. I do feel comfort in knowing that I can at least be aware and open to both the defined and undefined types of community I engage in on a daily basis.
Community. I was just on ThoughtCatalog and one of the articles focused on why the writer did not miss church and the one reason they did. That one reason was community. So, I decided to unpack that word. I've always struggled with community and I'm not sure why. Maybe it's my introverted nature?
Dictionary.com defines community as:
a social, religious, occupational, or other group sharing common characteristics or interests and perceived or perceiving itself as distinct in some respect from the larger society within which it exists
What do I define community as?
-People with whom I share common interests
-People with whom I am comfortable
-People who I have a natural inclination to spend time with in outside environments and not in primarily structured settings
-Natural, authentic, undefined relationships
The two definitions overlap. I am finding that the one contrast is that my definition is that I thrive off of relationships which are organic, innate. So many communities in which I find myself must be defined and then be organically made. I work from the inside out. Whereas so many other types of relationships work from the outside in. Hm, interesting.
But, I guess a community is still a community, regardless, right? Working from the inside out as opposed to the outside in, I still had to put in a great length of time and effort in the relationships I have built and who is to say that they are any better or more significant than relationships that are built from the outside in? Perhaps working from the outside in, I have to do the same, but it feels like more than what I am used to because I am working from a different angle. Maybe I should give the outside in, defined relationships more of a chance?
After all, there's no right way. Just different ways.
So, then the next question is, why am I so scared of the outside in approach?
Am I scared?
Am I impatient?
Do I not like to change my way of doing things?
Am I stubborn?
Do I not want to admit that I am wrong? (Is it time to admit that I am wrong?)
Have I genuinely just not found a defined community approach that fits my undefined sense of relationship and community?
If I have, what is keeping me from flourishing in these define community approach contexts? How can I change this?
Community is more puzzling for the Christian individual to figure out than one would think. I will take it one day at a time. I do feel comfort in knowing that I can at least be aware and open to both the defined and undefined types of community I engage in on a daily basis.
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